> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.stonewallnews.net/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Have Yourself a Very Gay Halloween… You Need It - URL: https://www.stonewallnews.net/have-yourself-a-very-gay-halloween-you-need-it/ - Published: 2026-10-16T13:00:12.000Z - Updated: 2026-10-16T13:00:12.000Z - Author: Ryan Oelrich - Tags: Columnists Halloween is the gayest holiday. I realize this is a bold statement from a man who celebrates Christmas by erecting an 18ft tree in his home each year and covering it in a light show choreographed to “Santa Baby”. But let’s consider the evidence. Halloween offers costumes, dramatic entrances, elaborate decorating, chosen-family gatherings, and the chance to become someone else, all while worrying whether the lighting is flattering. We, the LGBTQ+ community, have been training for this our entire lives. For one glorious evening, everyone else joins us, homosexuals, in asking, “Is this too much?” And we get to answer, “Sweetheart. You haven’t even added the cape.” As a gay man, former balloon artist, and current Hobbit House owner who, every October, welcomes hundreds of children to his Hobbit Halloween festival, I feel VERY qualified to offer this guide to a successful and joyous Halloween. Plus, when you Google “Halloween House” our home used to appear as the first photo for two years running! My husband may dispute these qualifications. Unfortunately for him, this is my column. ### **Step 1: Choose tasteful gay Halloween decorations.** I have very strong opinions here. Tasteful decorating begins with a clear theme, a restrained color palette, and the willingness to abandon both when you discover a twelve-foot skeleton. Some people put a pumpkin on their porch and call it done. I admire these people. The way I admire someone who can eat three potato chips and close the bag. I understand that they exist. I cannot explain their behavior. That is not me. At our house, Halloween decorating involves creatures, pumpkins, dramatic lighting, and me climbing a tree while my husband considers whether this is covered by our insurance. It also involves dozens of pumpkins, homemade mushrooms, handcrafted giant Ents, and more. However, I believe decorations should tell a story, and there absolutely should be a theme. Please don’t go throwing everything and the kitchen sink on your lawn. Also, please limit your inflatables. Please. Our home boldly says, “A homosexual Hobbit with access to extension cords and spray foam lives here.” For an elegant display, group pumpkins of different sizes, add warm lighting, and place one unsettling figure where guests won’t notice it right away. This could be a witch, a Nazgûl, or a framed photograph of yourself during your frosted-tips era. Know your audience. And remember: “tasteful” is subjective. If your skeleton wears pearls and holds a martini, that is practically a museum installation. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/d5/95/d595da8d-ecfc-467e-9765-406e3e9a8989/content/images/2026/10/Hobbit-Halloween-2.jpg) Ryan and Robert's Halloween-decorated home | Photo by Ryan Oelrich ### **Step 2: Design the perfect gay costume.** The perfect costume sits at the intersection of creativity, confidence, and being able to use the bathroom without an assistant. Ignore that third requirement at your peril. I type this from personal experience. Start by deciding what you want your costume to communicate. “I am mysterious.” “I am hilarious.” “I have been doing squats.” “I want you to believe I’m highly promiscuous; but if you wink at me, I’ll immediately run and hide.” All valid artistic directions. You might choose a beloved movie character, a ridiculous pun, a glamorous monster, or something so obscure that explaining it becomes your full-time job for the evening. “I’m the emotional consequences of the third act of a film you haven’t seen.” Couples costumes require additional diplomacy. Both parties should understand and willingly accept the assignment. One person should not discover at 6 p.m. that he is expected to spend the evening dressed as supporting vegetation. My husband and I once negotiated our couples costume for four days (2 of which were spent in angry silence) before I finally agreed to surrender the TV remote for a month so we could reach an agreement. However, as a result, our Pixar’s UP couple’s costume won the contest. Also, test your costume before leaving home. Can you sit? See? Walk up stairs? Hug someone without poking an eye out? A costume that looks spectacular while you stand motionless may become considerably less charming when you need to retrieve a dropped tortilla chip. And please, wear comfortable shoes. Also, ensure it has at least one pocket! (also speaking from experience) You can be a creature of the night and still require arch support and to carry a wallet. ### **Step 3: Throw the best gay party.** A successful gay Halloween party needs good people, something to eat, and a host who's accepted that someone will put a drink right beside the coaster, track dog poo into your home, and break at least two things. At one Halloween party we hosted, a couch and a painting were destroyed. Yikes. However, it was worth it. Set the mood with music and lighting. Your guests should be able to admire the decorations, identify the snacks, and determine whether the person approaching them is an old friend or their teacher from the 4th grade. Provide substantial food. A bowl of candy and something called “Witch’s Regret” do not constitute sufficient snacks. Offer appealing drinks with and without alcohol. Everyone deserves something festive in their glass without having to explain their entire relationship with drinking. And give people different ways to participate. Some guests want to dance. Some want to talk. Some want to stand beside the cheese and establish a meaningful relationship. We once had a Halloween movie-watching room, a basement dance floor, a backyard scary maze, a first-floor craft project, and the all-important drink-and-snacks feast in the kitchen. Yes, if you’re gay, you’re expected to go all out. These are all legitimate party activities. As host, help people connect. Introduce the new person. Invite the person hovering near the doorway into the conversation. Compliment the homemade costume that required three evenings and an unreasonable amount of hot glue. Costume awards can help, too. Consider categories such as “Best Use of Cardboard,” “Most Likely to Shed on the Furniture,” and “Outstanding Achievement in Wearing That Out of the House.” The goal is for people to leave thinking, “I’m glad I came.” Although “How did they ever fit into that?” is also a strong review. ### **Step 4: Face a fear. Preferably one that takes you a bold step forward.** Halloween is a strange little holiday. We decorate with things we usually avoid, invite monsters to the door, and pay admission to buildings where strangers scream at us. Apparently, fear becomes entertainment when someone adds a fog machine. But there’s a useful invitation tucked inside all this nonsense: try something that scares you a little. You do not need to confront everything you’re afraid of before November. Some of us still need time to process group texts. I personally avoid them like the plague. Choose one manageable stretch. Wear the costume you worry is too silly. Invite someone you’d like to know better. Go to the party for half an hour. Dance before you’ve convinced yourself you look competent. As someone whose dancing resembles an arthritic buffalo attempting to escape a tranquilizer dart, I understand the stakes. There’s room to practice being uncomfortable, laugh at ourselves, and discover that an awkward moment is survivable. You can take a break. You can leave early. You can decide the haunted house is absolutely somebody else’s personal development opportunity. For me, the best part of Halloween is having permission to play. To make something ridiculous. To gather people I love. To spend an evening being more interested in delight than in whether I look foolish. I would like to carry a little more of that into the rest of the year. So put pearls on the skeleton. Invite the new friend. Wear the cape. And if you see me up a tree adjusting a Nazgûl, please tell my husband I’m nearly finished. Neither of us will believe you, but I appreciate the support. --- Related article: [The Magic of Spokane’s Hobbit House](https://www.stonewallnews.net/ryan-and-robert-artists-interview-hobbit-house-by/) ---