We knew from the start we’d be putting ourselves on a literal ‘front line’ when we built this ranch in an economically depressed, conservative rural area.
It was the entire premise behind our vision statement: “make manifest the change we wish to see in the world through hospitality”. Being a social change agent is embedded in the DNA of our business.
Over the past 20 years, we have had some common themes among visitors and tourists to the ranch.
Some occurrences (thankfully few) are such that we can immediately identify the script that will unfold before us.
My favorite “reveals” are the ones where a neighbor hears about us from a supporter who raves about the ranch. They are encouraged to stop by and check us out, ‘get the tour,’ they hear. See what they are doing up there, ‘it’s fantastic!’
So they come check us out. We give them the tour. At some point, a lightbulb goes on in their head that we are gay men here, operating this hospitality business.
One of three things inevitably happens:
- the Avoider: their enthusiasm to learn more about the ranch, their receptiveness to hearing about permaculture principles, or animal operations, suddenly shifts and they go quiet. They are now looking for an early exit. They are done here, they want to leave. We never hear from them again. We find their social media profile, and it is clear why we will never ever see them again. This is how we met several neighbors who live up the road from us. It’s very obvious.
- the Principled Stander: their questioning shifts. Now, instead of asking about chickens, they query about our values or principles. They want to find that one thing they can land their hat upon from which they can comfortably judge us. Again, It’s very obvious.
One time it was an elderly couple stopping in on a Shearing Day. The wife meanders up to the house after watching the work at the barn. She checks out the store, then plainly asks, “where are your womenfolk?” She could not see how 3 men could keep such a house and homestead without any women around (to cook and clean). The look of shock on her face when realizing she was having a conversation with a gay man was priceless in its reveal.
- the Proselytizer: they turn to religion. Abruptly. One moment we are talking about rotational grazing and the diversity of what we plant in the meadows, and the next moment we are hearing about what Jesus says. Inevitably, the moment comes where the proselytizer insists on praying for and with us. This one never ends cordially for them like the other two scenarios. Not only do they find me quoting their Bible back at them, but they also find out I’m ordained (non-Christian) and perform marriages and memorials here. That really gets under their righteousness.
In all three of these common scenarios, we can count on never seeing them again at the ranch.
We will never be obtuse or deflective about who we are, what we stand for, and the work we do. Each of the times a visitor has such a reveal here at the ranch, we consider it like striking gold. It’s par for the course when one’s home is open daily to the public that we meet people from all walks of life. The challenge is not compromising one’s integrity to appease another’s insecurity.
In any of these scenarios, we receive affirmation: we are doing the right work, at the right time, in the right place where it is needed.
