When horror and harm dominate our vision, we risk losing sight of the good that still surrounds us. And when we lose that vision, we surrender a vital source of power—one we need not only to heal, but to keep moving forward.
At the Center for Trauma and Stress Education (CTSE), I help facilitate trauma response and recovery programs for communities affected by unimaginable pain. Over the years, I’ve worked with people impacted by natural disasters, school shootings, public health crises, and war—people whose stories carry unspeakable weight. Yet again and again, I’ve seen that the ability to recover doesn’t come down to the severity of the trauma. More often, it’s about whether people are able to reclaim a source of hope.
Three years ago, I worked with military personnel involved in the evacuation of Afghanistan. The stories they shared were heart-wrenching—stories of families separated, impossible choices, and a devastating suicide bombing at Abbey Gate that killed 13 U.S. service members and more than 170 civilians. One soldier said quietly, “When all you can see is the dark, why do anything? Why date, hang out with friends, or build something? You’re not going to be able to see it anyway.”
I understood that perspective deeply. As a child, I was abducted from swimming lessons. The harm experienced had a lasting impact. In the years that followed, I wore what I’ve come to think of as “dark glasses”—a lens of fear, mistrust, and negativity that distorted how I viewed people, the world, and myself. When you're wearing those glasses, you expect the worst. You fear change. You assume people mean harm. Worst of all, you stop dreaming. You forget how to hope.
Learning to take off those glasses—and keep them off—has been one of the most important journeys of my life. It’s what’s allowed me to show up fully as a husband, friend, advocate, and educator. And it’s what I try to help others do every day.
No matter the trauma, no matter the darkness we’ve walked through, it is possible to see light again. But we have to train our minds to find it.
At CTSE, we use a simple but powerful technique called "Better Moment Bookmarks.” It’s designed to counter our brain’s natural tendency to fixate on the negative. If we aren’t intentional, we can live through six good days and one bad one, and only remember the bad. That kind of imbalance distorts our worldview, saps our strength, and undermines our ability to dream—when dreaming is exactly what we need to solve big problems.
Better Moment Bookmarks help us rewire our thinking. Here’s how it works:
Each day, when you find yourself feeling even a flicker of peace, joy, or safety—pause. Maybe it's during your morning coffee, walking your dog, or laughing with a friend. In that moment:
A. Turn your attention, with intention, to the experience. Describe it to yourself in clear, nonjudgmental terms. What’s actually happening?
B. Engage all five senses. What do you see, hear, taste, feel, and smell?
C. Be completely present. Let your mind rest in the now.
D. “Bookmark” the moment. Make a mental note: This matters. This is real.
E. Revisit your bookmarks regularly. Set aside time each week to reflect on the moments you saved. Let them remind you of the good that exists.
This practice doesn’t erase trauma. It doesn’t diminish the real struggles happening all around us. But it does help build the resilience we need to face them.
We’re living in challenging times—emotionally, politically, and socially. The fight for justice, truth, and compassion requires people who are emotionally fueled and mentally clear. That clarity won’t come if we’re only looking through lenses of despair.
The good is still out there. You just have to look for it—and remember it when you find it.
About CTSE: The Center for Trauma and Stress Education (CTSE) is a non-profit organization dedicated to helping address stress and trauma, and the issues that cause them, through evidence-based training programs and consultation. For more information visit www.CTSEPrograms.org
