I entered Stop! That! Train! fully aware of what to expect: unfiltered chaos, rhinestones, and an abundance of glitter. This film not only embraces its over-the-top nature — it fully commits to it. It’s a cinematic cavalcade racing down the tracks at full speed, inviting you to join the laughter and fun.
The plot? Gloriously ridiculous: a runaway train rockets across the country, with only the most mismatched, over-the-top crew imaginable to save the day. There are double-crosses, mistaken identities, and more twists than a ballroom voguing competition. Just when you think you’ve got it figured out, the train jumps tracks, and you’re off again. This movie commits to the bit like a drag queen commits to a death drop, and it’s impossible not to be swept along for the ride.
The cast knows exactly what kind of movie they’re in, and they’re having the time of their lives. The guest stars are the cherry on top: blink and you’ll miss Sarah Michelle Gellar hamming it up as a self-important celebrity, Joel McHale and Paul Scheer bare-chested and in leather, Jerry O’Connell and Nicole Sullivan as a bickering married couple, Nicole Richie buzzing through as a workaholic, and even Charo. Each cameo is a glitter bomb — here for a good time, then vanishing back into the sparkly chaos.
Ginger Minj, Jujubee, Symone, Marcia Marcia Marcia, Brooke Lynn Hytes, and Latrice Royale each sashay in with their own distinct flair, razor-sharp punchlines, and a knack for stealing the spotlight. One arched eyebrow from these queens can derail an entire scene, and the film is smart enough to let them werk. No one’s chasing an Oscar (unless there’s a new category for “Most Glitter Per Square Inch”) — they’re here to have fun, and it’s infectious. The chemistry crackles, the shade is plentiful, and the love of camp is unmistakable.
And every frame RuPaul is in is a master class in campy, razor-sharp comedy. Equal parts ringmaster and chaos agent, he makes every entrance a moment, with the whole movie orbiting that star power, disco-ball lighting and all.
Director Adam Shankman deserves a bouquet of roses for keeping this train on the rails. The pacing never drags, the gags land, and nothing overstays its welcome. And stick around for the gag reel, which is possibly even funnier than the movie itself — packed with flubbed lines and laughter.
I can’t remember the last time I sat through the entire credits, but this time I did, grinning as if I’d just caught the bouquet at a drag wedding. Stop! That! Train! is loud, proud, and ridiculous — and it knows it. Grab your heels, hop aboard, and enjoy the ride.
